“It’s funny to hear a female write about concussions.”

“I love to see a fat guy score. First, you get a fat guy spike, then you get a fat guy dance.”

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

You know, I used to not mind Marlins Man, but I’m starting to come around to the idea he’s an attention whore.

Maybe if the bin was wearing the other team’s colors...

Dolphins fans are hoping it’s Jay Cutler

What is this, high school?

Mostly a sex thing.

Actually a sex thing.

Oh sure, but when a shark grabs a human off land everyone freaks out. Hypocrites.

Exactly. I hate to name-drop, but [Ryan] Fitzpatrick is still playing!?

This may be true for YOU and YOUR political views, but there are plenty of people out there who aren’t on the fringes of politics and prefer a more centrist, moderate approach. There is nothing wrong with wanting, say, pro-choice rights for women, marriage equality, AND lower taxes and smaller government.

This is hilarious since this is the same organization that lets Maldonado race.

It’s too soon to make this joke but...

Does this mean we finally get some more gun control, now? Boy, I hope so.

Disclaimer: I’m obviously not blaming Kathy Griffin for this.

Thank god they’ve got excellent health care!

Nashville has shown itself to be a true hockey town filled with real fans, because they booed the living shit out of Bettman last night, as is proper and right.