I'm sorry to all those who say it's beautiful and a miracle — pregnant bodies freak me the fuck out. I'm not saying it's something to be ashamed of, it's just TERRIFYING.

You’re a Latin teacher??!! I thought they all died. Mine did. :( Vale

Is it at all acceptable in any circle to say I can’t stand that Miranda guy and I hate his “rapping"? Nah ima get burned at the stake.

SUCH A DOUCHE

I work from home and have added this to my list of professional duties which go unseen and unsung. Alas.

When I was 16 my dream was to go to grad school in Scotland. Lol. I didn’t get there but did work in the UK briefly. My only regrets are not having finished such endeavors, quitting a bit too early, when I had every right to, because it was hard, but without really giving it the old college try. I know if I was back…

I think...that's...being married to a man. Different brains. Give him linear tasks like: stab a wildebeest and drag it home. Or, rub these things together to make the hot burny thing.

Don’t worry, just do the golden rule, and if you feel like it, marry yourself and register and invite them to the destination wedding. If they’re cool they’ll appreciate you celebrating them and reciprocate. If not, well. I was dead broke and officiated at my ex-best friend’s wedding. She had a lobotomy on her…

Age is no antidote to juvenile behavior I guess. People have patterns, and it can take a while before they manifest in a way that affects you negatively. My bff of almost ten years got married and made a huge economic leap up in doing so. She started acting judgy toward me almost immediately and started embracing this…

Absolutely. Just having an “unmurcan” sounding name would be PLENTY ammo to get constituents to rally behind a blockade. They’re still going to fight it tooth and nail, but it’s harder to get their collective white male conservative boner up with this guy. (Apologies for the imagery.)

It reminds me of pastor talk. Condescending judgmental holier than thou pastor talk. Makes my facial tic go nuts.

Vodka and grapefruit juice. I hate to brag about my immune system when you’re under the weather but I haven’t had a cold in about three years. I have no idea what’s going on. I’m a little terrified that I’m actually growing a crop of metastatic tumors in lieu of getting colds because that would be my life. Also the…

I hung three out of four curtains/rods and now I'm watching Netflix because I deserve a medal but I will settle for Netflix.

What the f is xanga

I read the headline as Molly Ringwald because Andie/PinP. She actually is closer in likeness at least. Andie Macdowell is gorgeous and pretty natural in any role but she is botoxed into oblivion now. She’s on this super g-rated show on Hallmark and she’s got one facial expression that looks like a cringe.

Ask Allison Williams lol

That’s what is really frustrating. You expect more from someone with his background and experience but the depth isn’t there. Maybe he’s wearing armor on the outside to protect all his squishy sensitivity...most comedians are allegedly depressed self-loathers, but that's a real shame.

Sounds like you're giving him a pass.

I’m sorry. That sounds like a shit day. I am not surprised though. I think TN is brilliant and really insightful about the particular prejudice aimed right at him, specifically, but all I get aside from that is immature little twat. One who has not yet figured out that making fun of fat girls or someone having a bad…

I also had trouble recommending the indie flick “Good Dick” which is good.