“A certain pro sports franchise [that rhymes with “Kix”].”

Well, he did die with his skates on, the leading Canadian cause of death.

He’s not American.

How dare you sir!

I think you need to contact the White Mamba next.

In soccer/football there is a tradition of kicking the ball out of bounds when there’s an injury (or at least one that appears to be more than a dive), and once play restarts, for the team to give the ball back.

“Donald Trump? The short-fingered vulgarian?” is the correct answer. RIP Spy Magazine.

ATL is playing pretty good without him.

You can’t spell Middlesbrough without MLS, Brad.

“Obamacare only went into full effect in 2014, and though Chris attempted to enroll, he was unable to navigate the complexities of the process.”

A Bacon’s bit fan, eh?

He reinjured that same hand jumping out of the bedroom window of Brent Barry’s house.

And Tebow saith, Verily I say unto thee, That this day, even in this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice.

Lay your weary defense to rest.

Chapter 3: Chelsea!

A fanatical devotion to the Pope!

Or What’s Up Doc? Ryan O’Neal was in that one with her.

Grecian Formula Carol Brady. With a James Lipton “beard.”

Well he did show up in a T-shirt. Show up in a coat and tie, I bet the china comes out.