Listened to as much as I could stand.

Gumball Rally! Better than all the Cannonball Run movies.

Looks and sounds like a flat version of the Chick-O-Stick from Atkinson Candy.

Don’t let him mess with my new NCIS episode.

No sage?

Jasmine tea is usually green tea flavored with Jasmine petals.

For I am the Pirate King!

Staple Singers - Respect Yourself.

You mean like Merrick Garland?

“I try not to think about lecherous, larcenous assholes. When I can’t avoid it, I usually need a double bourbon and a couple of Rolaids to recover.”

Let me tell you about the blizzard of ‘66....

Kelly is doing the best he can, but can we get Mary Poppins to replace him?

The original ones are pretty good, a nice basic cheroot.

Anything by Punch.

Swishers are not cigars. They are semi-organic tubular constructs produced by Great Danes on a high-fiber diet.

Can we get the Trump Organization charged under the RICO act and seize their assets? How about including the Republican Party as co-conspiritors?

Both.

You know, the Mexicans have lots of Trump pinatas they would love to contribute.

Same tactic used in V for Vendetta.

How much TP?