So it can growl back at that BMW on the commute. It's all about establishing dominance.

“Pete Alonso is awesome at crushing dongs”

I just like that Club America and Guadalajara are playing in Chivas's half. They must be so confused.

The Red Sox will refuse to help. The Rangers might, though.

The Orioles and I are just friends now. The passion isn’t there, and we’ve both moved on.

“They expect to have a new ballpark in 2361.”

That’s squarely in what-the-hell-why-not territory at that price. Sure. I guess.

Want!

Cadillac’s car names really do sound like military satellites or sonething.

That's a supremely impressive number of dashboard buttons.

“Dawes did what most people would, and moved to the warmer climes of hot rod heaven otherwise known as Los Angeles.”

That is one amazing pimp wagon right there.

Nats fan here, and I got the exact result I wanted. Nats win, Harper shows up Strickland... yeah, that works. Harper is Harper, and it was great having him here. Glad he got our asshole pitcher.

They strike me more as a Gamecube team.

For me it's the 49cc Metropolitan I'm literally about to go and buy.

I thought $3500 was David’s dream budget for his next Jeep project.

It’s the annual change of season, as the first leaves slowly start to turn, a brisk wind blows, and asshole Cubs fans forget about baseball and start talking shit about how great the Blackhawks are.

There’s something refreshing about store-brand Mike McCarthy. I like the guy in a not-a-threat-to-my-team kind of way.

“90s-esque ‘stache-and-goatee combo”

I’m obsessing over it lately, so pardon me mentioning it again, but definitely a 93-94 Renault Twingo. Not because it can go through time: I’ll be happy if it goes through town once I import one. But it will take me back to my high school years. I can stock it with New Order and Depeche Mode and Erasure tapes, maybe…