Oh lawwwwd.

This one is too real

Getting into a relationship with someone you've met in your 12-step program is what we like to call, "The 13th-step." (That's a consensual relationship. Or as consensual as it can be when an long-timer takes advantage of a newbie's insecurities and fears). Note: Not all 13th steppers are like that. Some are just…

Aw, that's going to be me some day as a mother.

That's a good point. I don't see anyone giving Jagger any shit for it. Oh waaaaaiiit - it's because he's got one of those whatchamathingies.... a penis

This is me looking at Tyson in 100 degree weather:

The Mummy and The Mummy Returns are two of my absolute favorites for drinking wine in front of on a Friday night when I don't feel like going out.

Cary Grant is the only correct answer. All of these other crazypants answers need to be taken out back and put down like bad horses.

You and everyone else, honey. *snaps*

Young Alexis de Tocqueville. Total cutie. In modern days he would have divided his time between studying Classics and writing emo poetry. (That hair is just itching to turn into eye-obscuring bangs).

Gandhi . And then I could be all like 'hey, I slept with Gandhi,' and my friends would be like 'no way.' And I would be like 'shut up, you don't even know.'

Or Paul Newman. *sigh*

As the person who is usually embarrassingly drunk, it's probably because people don't want a sober witness to the shit they say when they've had a few...

I will say this: I am not an alcoholic but I am not drinking at the moment because I'm in recovery in other areas of my life and I figure I don't need to tempt fate with my addictive personality. Only once alcohol stopped being an option for me (for the time being) did I notice how prevalent its use is among my…

I would really like a Mayer ex-girlfriend tee, actually.

Same. He's one of those dudes who just radiates that he'd be good in bed, no matter how miserable I suspect he is to be around once the horizontal ballet is over.

My #1 hate fuck, for sure.

GOOD LORD RAHM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE BACK OF THAT CHAIR.

I find him so bafflingly attractive.

Much like asshole religious people who generalize all non-believers, atheists or skeptics should not generalize religious people, lest they be seen as assholes as well.