Counterpoint to the headline: I’m watching the Giants-Padres game for some goddamn reason.

One of the saddest things about this? Probably premeditated.

Fathers be good to your ballers

I gotta say, as a long time follower of Timberwolves basketball it’s very strange to have other teams be the fuck ups and the Wolves look like they have a damn clue.

Dolan’s 5'6". Maybe Perry just didn’t see him?

“I stand corrected” - said the man in orthopedic shoes.

And then he dabbed?

Sometimes the Universe is just

I am impressed by the girl who caught the fly ball and chugged her beer.

“If it was bad, I would have lied about it” isn’t a great explanation for convincing people you are all above board.

Thank you for transcribing this for us.

Or, as we ladies read that, “currently unemployed”.

They’re forcing him to explain himself but they’re doing it in a conversational, pleasant matter so he doesn’t get defensive. It’s incredible that their heads haven’t all exploded.

“Souza will phone complaint about failed second march to top brass.”

Oh Florida.

Ah yes. He’s mad that trucks are parked in front of his property. The logical action is to render them immobile.

My idiot friends and I wouldn’t have made it through an hour of this before going double agent on each other and driving away while the dunk dude is left alone in the driveway. We were sort of dicks. Also, none of us could dunk.

Yep...

He thinks health insurance is life insurance.

Walk into any dementia-care area of a nursing home and you can have basically the same conversation. I’m not kidding.