The Daily Candy goodbye email was maybe the first email I ever read from them, even though I've been subscribed for years. It still made me kind of sad.

I too suffer from that condition.

Don't dox me, bro :)

While I agree with this article... If you need an ambulance, you need an ambulance.

Also: Best Giggle.

Next can we vote on Best Eyes, Most School Spirit and Class Clown?

False advertizing here. Hormones in beef lower your sperm count.

One cannot have both overtime pay AND stature/sense of accomplishment. That would be ludicrous.

What kind of gas does Fabio pump? Regular? Regular Plus? PREMIUM PLUS?

Please tell me she tried them on and belted out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" while downing a bottle of Barefoot chardonnay.

The SDPD...even had the audacity to tell the Claimants to "smile."

"Margaret Atwood could not have imagined bullshit like this."

I am responsible for this. It's my fault, guys.