You were preternaturally calm, and I was hoping you would scream!

I heart you so much

Same, my new friend, same.

We share that friend on Facebook. And as much as I enjoy his musings, that really threw me off, too. I mean...just...why?

I get 12-13 a month. It’s affected my health in a way I didn’t expect: I can’t work out with my head in this condition, and I’ve gotten completely out of shape and gained almost 60 pounds in the last three years. I’m miserable, I feel like shit about myself, and I’m so so so tired of feeling this way. I hope you find…

I mean, I told you this would happen often:

Mine actually got worse with menopause. I had a neurology appointment todat, and we’re going to try some physical therapy and drugs for a while, then move on to Botox in the back of my head, where most of mine originate. I’m jealous of your migraine-free existence, but also congratulatory.

Whatever Megyn is doing to her hair needs to stop. Get out of bed 15 minutes earlier, lady, and do something with that skimpy, limp mop on your head!

I’m sure you need to do this more often:

I immediately went to dutch ovens and thought, “Whoa, Tay, it’s a little early for that, isn’t it? I’ve been with my partner for almost two years and we still step outside to not fart in each other’s presence.” She’s a fast one, that girl. Goodness.

Congrats on not screaming today, Bobby!

Same. I said I’d never do it, but when my kid showed up for his Christmas break last year with the dabbing Santa, I started to change my mind. Now I have to find the shopping channel that sells those tacky sweaters from the dead lady who’s daughter now sells them, like all the other middle-aged ladies, and I’ll be set!

See also: Seth MacFarlane.

I knew I was right when I said I thought you screamed more than you admitted.

I’m sorry that’s happening to you, as if losing your much beloved kitty wasn’t painful enough.

Wait, Gus was your kitty, who you had to put put down recently. Who could be so cruel as to do something so awful to you about that? As for moms....I am pretty sure mine disagrees with every last thing I’m doing with my life, and I’m fucking 55, so I always assume that’s normal over a lifetime of mother/daughter…

I found my way here in 2007, and have been banned twice, stalked by a sick little shit who is still stalking me here (hi!), had an unhealthy on/off relationship with another commenter for two years, found more of my voice as a woman and feminist vs. just a mom with no life outside my home, and have made so many online…

I’m pretty sure this happens more often than you admit to:

Who hurt you as a child?

Don’t care, would sleep in that teal suede coat and spend my days petting myself and twirling down the street and enjoying life in my suede cocoon of richness.