I love you Torch.

This is the content I come to Jalopnik for

I didn’t even notice the shirt at first. I thought Green was mocking LeBron by just having a natural hairline.

Also twitch, btw.

Most definitely designed - we use to do this in high school, but we also sucked, so it never worked, because no one was ever on third base.

Yeah, my factory order for my Forester XT was exactly as you described. No games at all and we got exactly what we ordered.

I’m submitting this post for a Pulitzer.

Search engine optimization. His death, which everyone will be Googling, the words “who is,” which everyone will be Googling, and something no one else will have, because it is irrelevant.

This checks out.

My detailed analysis is as follows: a bunch of fucking assholes bought the Newsweek brand, and put their fucking asshole editorial slant on it.

Is your wife single? This may be a little presumptuous but would she be willing to pick me up for our first date?

Aren’t carbs like that a sin in the religion of CrossFit?

I guess the issue is that some people believe that their religion or particular sect *requires* them to go out and proselytize/evangelize/force people to accept their religion. in turn, I think that they also believe that things like “pride” events force them to accept something that they don’t believe.

Here’s an idea.

There is no question that it is the driver......

Obama?

Not sure why this is even a topic. So now there are distinctions between “regular” cars and Teslas? Whoever is behind the wheel is at fault. Personally, I don’t think there should even be such a thing as Autopilot. I just don’t understand how people expect/demand responsibility from drivers, and then allow companies…

I was going to go with the original manuscript for The Lord of the Rings

If it is a legitimate pause, the body has a way of shuttingit down.

“No one’s TESTING anybody, all we’re saying is you have to be a Christian and swear on the Bible.”