Can brides just quit with the bouquet toss already? It's so awkward. I could be wrong, but I feel like most grown women don't really want to scramble for a superstitious bouquet in front of everyone they know. It's embarrassing. I didn't have any tossing of the bouquet or garter at my wedding and no one cared.

She and I are very different people.

I'm on almost week 3 of maternity leave and I'm soooooo bored!!! And I'm also a human pacifier to this little girl

Good evening, Jezzies! I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

I actually lead with that as my introduction to all people I meet, as they are my most important attributes. It doesn't matter what the social situation. "Hi, I'm plain in feature and certainly overweight. Can I get two bean burritos and a cool ranch Doritos locos taco? Thanks."

I bought my wedding dress in a city where none of my friends or relatives lived because we had just moved when we decided to get married. I went shopping alone. I thought it was going to be sad but it was nice, I could really chose what I liked the most. When I was trying on my favorite dress the mother of another…

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries is my new Netflix fave. It's set in the 20s in Australia and isn't very racially diverse but there is such scandal as a Catholic and Protestant in love—the horror!

Full disclosure: my political interests are narrow. They are tied directly to what I can do with my body, labor, and my economic standing in this country.

She is quite unfashionably voluptuous.

The only reason to do something like this is because you're feeling superior to another human being. Plus pack mentality.

The best thing about this cover is the ghost of Grace Kelly benevolently smiling down on the newlyweds.

It's only assy if the baby acts up and they don't leave. The kid, who you know is a human and has the right to go to any place her parents deem suitable, just sat there and was fine. It is assy to ban babies because you think children should not only not be heard but not be seen either.

This scares me about theoretically being a parent. I mean, I'm cool with my kids being obsessed with something that's actually good, but what if they get obsessed with something like Frozen?

The first rule of Pie Club is you do not talk about Pie Club. The second rule of Pie Club is we tend to be good on fruit, so maybe consider bringing a nice coconut cream or Pecan next time.

Revlon Toast of New York? Makes me feel like it's 1993 all over again.

Still not feeling Cameron Diaz as Miss Hannigan. Guess my heart belongs to Carol Burnett.

Yes, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to give that organization ANY credit after the way they completely botched this situation.

Oh Scott Foley.

I've created a helpful chart for Walter.

We're just not going to talk about the turtle? Not at all? Ok, paint colors and fish it is.