I now have a very realistic mental image of Hamilton attempting to eat ice cream (organic paleo-friendly ice cream from a shop ran out of a converted credit union, of course; ginger-lemon flavor) with a fork and getting increasingly frustrated as he workshops zingers for his eventual blog post about this harrowing…

Klobuchar and Brown’s plans are no more politically realistic than Sanders’s. 

In Surprise Rebuke To Wildly Unpopular Ideas, Voters Upend Status Quo By Picking Candidate Who Offers What They Actually Want

Step 1: Picture a bear fondling itself

BAH GAWD, THAT’S BURNEKO’S MUSIC!

Put it on your damn socks if you want!

You couldn’t be more wrong, HamNo. I’m only 37.

If it doesn’t, I’m gonna blame you for jinxing it.

When the skin is thin, a loss is a win. 

Bauer is on the “Post-playing career Curt Schilling in training” program and boys I think he’s gonna pass with flying colors.

I get it. You’re just going along, minding your own business and then, boom, you listen to some news and you’re racist. 

I’m not sure, I’m gonna need to hear Michael Rappaport’s thoughts on this as well. 

This is “Tostitos Mild Salsa” spiciness.

Last night I posed the following question to a friend:

Watching Steph bounce it and Giannis bang it from all angles is a good way to spend 45 seconds this morning.

I would say Mike Brown could definitely be the owner stupid enough to give him evidence. I’m not 100% positive he knows how to send an email, but the fact that it could save him 49 cents on a stamp tells me that yes, he probably does.

So lunatic conspiracy theorist vs Sam Harris bro who never got past the “what if reality isn’t real” level of drug thinking. I vote giant meteor.

I dated a bitch who was that into cocaine. Not a good scene.

It’s the Purple Rain font. It’s kind of part and parcel of the package.