Just chiming in to say that y’all need to go read Sean’s Pain Don’t Hurt series of daily essays about Road House, because it is the best thing currently happening on the internet.

The text is way too small. Fuck the committee.

Your name is what you say it is. I’m not about to start calling Ted Cruz “Rafael,” any more than I’m going to call this guy Robert.

Honestly, I was out on him as soon as I found out it was pronounced Beh-to instead of Bee-to. Bad name. Can’t win with that kind of name.

My dad asked me if Jokic was actually as good as the numbers he was putting up, and the best explanation I could come up with was “Yes, but he moves like you on the court and I have no idea why it works.”

wait which one did you photoshop?

I don’t know, maybe I’m in the minority here, but I feel like if you were able to gather millions of online followers in your teens that’s a better skill for a college application than, like, Model UN or some bullshit? She should have been a shoe-in at basically any school in the country regardless of grades.

Debatable. To the extent that such students increase the perception that it is possible to buy your way into the institution, they decrease the prestige of everyone else’s degrees. And there is the even more fuzzy idea of whether or not university leadership engaging in such shameless bartering will inevitably degrade…

Because it’s not quid pro quo bribery if you pay enough money.

Rich people need to learn that the wealthy truly do not need to give a fuck about their little people problems.

“We are going to squeeze every last drop out of this scandal.”

I’ve got $50 on “Ted Virtue” being a fake person. I mean:

Why does Arby’s want me to fuck its sandwiches and how does it know so much about the way I live?

I do appreciate her commitment to reminding everyone that she is a legacy hire.

Wow, Mr. Roth doing an antisemitism by not mentioning her frequent invocation of that traditional Jewish prayer, “I am John McCain’s daughter.”

Louie Gohmert is the politician best described by his own name as onomatopoeia.

“If you don’t pay for our troops, we’ll stop using foreign bases to project soft power and advance our own interests across the globe.”

What is a Jeopardy contestant?

You are there to answer some damn questions.

Obviously they are undermining the very idea of the United States by advocating for the interests of the constituencies that elected them. It’s disgusting.