That was my first car. A then 13 year old car that was about 12 years past it’s serviceable lifespan.

Screw pedestrian security!

These are as close as you can possibly get with modern safety standards:

I just use “45.” That way I don’t have to associate his name (or any derivative version framed as an insult) with the word “President.”

excuse me ?!?! you are AMERICAN god dammit...

At the current rate, there might not much ice left to break in the Northern Hemisphere......

Awesome. Let me get this right, the Affordable Care Act costs the government about 110 billion a year and GOP considers that way too much, but McCain wants to spend ***an additional*** 86 billion per year on military?

We see you, Russian plant.

Grant and hiring freezes do happen, communications blackouts are weird.

This is some petty shit and I am living for it.

What’s great about all of the stories already coming out about how pissed Trump is about this crowd size thing is it’s establishing that form Day 1 he was already emotionally unstable and completely unable to focus on getting anything done.

She has the wrong skin color for a harsher sentence.

It’s funny, as a kid I thought an asterisk next to Roger Maris’ name was stupid, and still feel that way when people argue it should be next to Bonds or Clemens, but Trump is so awful that I feel emboldened to eschew my own principles just to make the point. It’s not that he’s illegitimate - he won the Electoral…

Send him this gif(t) with my sympathies.

Remember “BUT BERNIE!” “HILLARY DISHONEST!” “HER EMAILS!!!!” “TEACH DNC LESSON!”?

Sure, we just need to find a physicist and probably Morgan Freeman.

In the Hillary universe, the nation makes a millimeter or two of progress every day - slow, relentless, difficult progress. It’s boring and hard work and it makes just about everyone’s life incrementally better each day. No one appreciates it.

He is just following the RNC playbook. He has no original ideas and no interest in governoring. Up next in no particular order:

Remember, President* Trump will personally benefit from the pipeline. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: it’s a good thing that his conflicts of interest aren’t over something truly sinister, like helping African children with AIDS.

Brown’s offensive reference to the wrong ethnic origin goes nicely with Ansari’s joke about people telling him to “go back to...the country you’re from!”. His follow up is that the racists tend to not be geography buffs.