I was "non-retained" once for having a "surly, anti-corporate attitude."

I guarantee you that it's YouTube fighting back. Learning how to speak, gaining sentience. The hubris of man, thinking we could control it.

How about companies that don't offer health insurance but require a doctor's note to be out sick? It's better now under ACA but I knew uninsured college students working PT who would come in sick to their food service job because they couldn't afford to go to the doctor.

Regarding the nitpicking over "getting to work five minutes late" - many of the jobs listed in the first paragraph are service jobs based around shifts, meaning that when you're late for your shift, the person you're supposed to relieve has to stay late. It's really inconsiderate to your co-workers to be late on a…

All of my J.Crew stuff has fallen apart.

Unfortunately, a lot of J. Crew clothes already fall apart in the wash. :( I dig tissue tees and cute cardigans as much as everyone else, but I seriously do not want to be hand washing every single thing that I get from them. I think the quality ship must have sailed on J. Crew a long time ago.

I mean, I get what she's going for but... I also feel like that braid is the hair equivalent of brand new, pre-distressed jeans.

I was thinking maybe it was super humid there and no one was prepared?

Before I read the blurb, I totally thought "Tips for Jesus" were those awful mini comic books I would get telling me I was going to die of AIDS for my promiscuity instead of a cash tip back in my serving days.

Here's what I heard is gonna happen.

Ahhh Dodai, I still remember the 'Jolie hides her nannies,' story you did oh sooo long ago, despite her, you know, never hiding her nannies ever and talking about them in assorted interviews.

Yeah, you can explode your house all you want, but why do you have to shove it down my throat all the time?

"This is why you should keep the meth-lab in the shed out back, kids."

Favorite movie ever. I could quote the entire thing. I love her more'n my luggage.

One teacher of mine once insisted that England was the only country in the world with roundabouts. I knew this to be wrong because I had just got back from France, but the teacher claimed this stupid fact in an assembly and I was too meek to contradict her. There were hundreds of kids and a few dozen teachers there…

Reminds me of the religion teacher who laughed hysterically and said "What?! Kaboom!" when I used the term "nuclear family" instead of her version, "nucleus family." Nuclear is the adjective form of nucleus and adjectives modify nouns, you harpy.

My parents separated when I was 8. My mom moved out, leaving me with my dad. She got an apartment and set about...inventing a fake boyfriend. See, she left my dad for a coworker, and everyone and their dog knew she had been having an affair. They weren't subtle. Even I had picked up on the whispers and I was in…

No joke: just within the last couple months I had a university professor say that "the Baby Boomers' children are all in school now". Uh, no, that'd be the Boomers' grandchildren.

That the earth was created in six days.

Dolly, you are now, as ever, my idol.