In the beautiful words of Alton Brown: "Imagine a flower: A climbing orchid, to be exact; the one of some twenty thousand varieties that produces something edible. Now imagine that its blooms must be pollinated either by hand or a small variety of Mexican bee, and that each bloom only opens for one day a year. Now…

Well, it seems that designers in general get no respect. I blame it on the fact that really everyone thinks they are creative.

I was working as a receptionist years ago and we had a clear policy about no walk in reps being seen. Well, this one woman was really pushy about it so I told her that our policy was posted next to the front door. She said she hadn't seen it. So I smiled and said, "OK, then, you can take a look at it on your way out.…

Here's a pretty surefire way to get people to hate on you hardcore: Be conventionally attractive but weird/socially inadequate/not generally have a sunny, extroverted disposition. I spent my early teen years with really, really bad acne and a messed up family and somewhere along the way in college I turned "hot"…

I am an opinionated, know-it-all and I've accepted that I'm an acquired taste. I have a handful of very close friends who appreciate the whole of me and around whom I can be myself. For the rest of the world I try my best to offer up a very censored version of my inner monologue. It is kind of tiring but preferable to…

Here's my theory as to why old people get crotchety and sometimes run down people in those motorized wheelchairs: they just don't care.

but how do we sleep while our beds are burning?

I see using pseudoscience to keep women in their place hasn't quite fallen out of fashion.

Eat them. Isn't the issue with giving money to the company? You've already done that so wasting food will hurt no one but yourself.

I read this and all I could think was, "Soooo, you like lesbian families twice as much?"

I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don't agree with them. Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role."

Punish behavior you disapprove of with physical, social, or emotional withdrawal.

Reward behavior you approve of with eye contact, smiles, and other positive reinforcement. Punish behavior you disapprove of with physical, social, or emotional withdrawal

"Won't allow her to be a dead starfish in bed"

Love is like a bottle of vodka. In that there should always be more love. And more vodka. Also, could you grab me another martini, hon?

I, for one, am surprised that this very reasonable-sounding woman has a teenage daughter who is acting out against her.

Look, I think respect for your parents should be the default position, but I don't think it should be unconditional either. And this is not a woman it sounds like I would have a lot of respect for. Her daughter absolutely should not have lied and should not have been sleeping over at an older guy's house. But I can…

Idea: excellent

I used to scrub the bejeezus out of my face with St. Ives as a teenager, until I had the luxury of my first derm appointment and was told how that Apricot stuff is basically cutting your skin up in the most micro-tortured fashion, which in turn leaves it susceptible to bacteria and therefore pimples, etc. The BEST…

This one is by far the best I've gotten: