Finally, something that offers hope that babies will continue to languish in orphanages!

But we'll never do that, now that China has secretly replaced our dilithium crystals with Folgers Crystals!

While many people believe "u" for "you" was started by Prince, it was in fact first popularized by King James I.

You are conflating two issues. Do you care that the MTA, rather than you, is earning some miniscule interest amount? Then you should buy the minimum amount (either one ride or the minimum to earn a bonus, which is surely worth more than your savings rate for petty cash). Sounds like a pain in the ass.

They shoulda made more of a couch.

Sam Sanders, Slaloming Solicitor

the greasy pile of ice and dirt over in the corner that we all want Canada to just go ahead and annex?

Only one of these makes any sense, and that's only if you add Stolichnaya, V8, Worcestershire, Tabasco, an olive and a celery stalk.

One correction about the Manhattan Bro: finance bros do not wear button-down shirts.