I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Is this their way of telling him he isn’t getting a street named after him?

At least it wasn't the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you.

Or, if you’re into crossfit, you should run into oncoming traffic.

When beating Duke, celebration krzyld be kept to a minimum.

We’re going to have fantastic, yuuuuuge moose legs thrown onto the biggest, coldest, iciest sheets of ice you’ve ever seen. It’s going to be great!

(Headline from the linked article)

That poor moose. Trust me, I know all about the struggles of living with three legs.

It’s a shame they didn’t have those field mics that give you crystal clear audio of the action. Then we might have finally known if Prince knew what he was talking about.

Shirtless goober? Try Gaza stripper.

Wait, you mean to tell me that an Israeli arrived unannounced and started being aggressive towards the unsuspecting people who were already there? Well I’ll be damned.

The poor bastard working morning shift at the Dunkin Donuts located exactly at the mid-point of my morning runs just shakes his head now at the sight of me dashing through to the toilet.

Poor Huerelho, he’ll still wake up tomorrow morning as a backup keeper for Watford looking like Eugene the Jeep.

I don’t know if Kansas has what it takes to win it all, but I can’t think of a better 30th birthday gift for Perry Ellis than a national title.

Man, she’s going to be really disappointed when she finds out how little time he spends in the pocket.

As an Oilers fan, I have faith that things will get better, but probably not until after I’m dead. You bet it’s a religion.

The Maple Leafs are still figuring out how to play 5-on-5.

Same thing happen to me. Except it wasn’t on a golf course and it was a stripper who was a fox.

While you’re busy taking pictures, that animal is just trying to survive