[whoops]

This may be useful for out-of-towners, but I don't need to read a map to know that New York basketball is history.

Billy Haisley is worse than Brendan Rodgers. (Brendan Rodgers is the fucking worst)

They'll lose in the playoffs.

Try Baltika lager. This was my session beer a couple days ago.

OK, so lagers. Light in color, not necessarily light in calories.. Have you had Troegs Sunshine Pils?

What do you mean by light beer?

Step 1: tell everyone you're training for a marathon

Objectively speaking, the Royals are still in the playoffs. The empirical evidence is irrefutable.

(Obviously I am talking about the success and fortune that comes with being a collegiate football player.)

For my entire childhood, my father kept a 12-pack of Schlitz on the floor of the garage and would crack on open before entering the house upon arriving home from work. The garage was obviously not refrigerated, so the only time my dad got a cold beer was in the winter. Otherwise, warm Schlitz for pops.

I'm not surprised. Most false flags are Muslim related.

How to be a soccer fan:

Immediately after the video was taken, another mob came along and fought over who got to keep Zhuravksy.

He figured he might as well give the ball up before Dane Cook stole that from him too.

Poor Daniel looks like his dad bet his entire life savings on Germany to win the World Cup.

Dwight Howard is on a plush leather sofa in his mansion watching Sponge Bob Square Pants with some kids from the neighborhood. He's still in his pajamas despite it being the middle of the afternoon. Also, he just farted, which he thought was hilarious. Dwight sees this dunk video on his iPad, adorned with Pokemon and Y…

Hey, they gave it a good effort, and got pretty close; I'm pretty sure their manager appreciates that more than most.

Great, great piece, Erik. I was a high school senior then, and it's amazing how much the cultural landscape changed in such a relatively short period of time. The Simpsons were certainly a big part of that.