Is that Alan Ruck?

I’m new here/don’t smoke, but is “getting hit by a bus” a real name for the reefer?

No chance Klopp will go to Man City. They'd love him, sure, but he seems like the type to want to stick around and develop a project, and with half a bad season at City he'd be given the boot.

NERD!

Any team employing Joey Barton deserves the worst of everything far as I'm concerned. On top of that, anyone dumb enough to employ Harry Redknapp for any period of time deserves an equally terrible fate.

“I don’t this is exactly how visors”

Wilshere hasn't been turned on — he's been utterly ineffective on the field and a total douchebag off it.

97 Strength rating? That seems harsh. Is there someone with a 100 strength rating?

always highlight truthers

"I've taken deeper shots than that!" - Jenna Jameson

good thing three white guys combined for this play, otherwise Chelsea fans would've had no one to cheer for.

Ya Burnt!

Terrific piece of writing, John. I lost this LP several years ago, and you've inspired me to repurchase immediately.

Billy Haisley is worse than Brendan Rodgers. (Brendan Rodgers is the fucking worst)

Nacho Monreal has been a rock since December, Bill. Paulista will have to fight for his place, and as it stands Monreal remains first choice ahead of Gibbs.

Didn't take long for UEFA to pull that, but here's a vine:

In each instance, how do they convince the bachelor that he's at a height appropriate for bungee jumping? Elevator simulation? Fake stairs? Tell them they're on a bridge? Are these men just dim?

And Messi refers to Ronaldo as "Who?" whenever he's brought up.

Kronenburg, Peroni, Radeberger, etc.

Could you do a "Best Light American Craft Beer" list that explicitly excludes the hyper-hopped shit our smaller breweries keep churning out? I enjoy a lighter beer, but the hops make me terribly fucking gassy and Mrs. Merkin does not appreciate the 5am dutch-oven sessions any longer.