BEACH MODE

I thought this was about LeBron's hair and then I realized I was being tricked into some kind of subliminal advertisement for a horrible movie.

The worst part is that he barely cleared the dog.

I loved Go Dog, Go! as a kid; now that I'm reading it to my own kid, I'm realizing the boy hat dog is basically negging the girl hat dog.

Go, Dog, Go! is probably the greatest literary accomplishment in the history of humankind. That book singlehandedly taught three nephews, four nieces and two sons of mine this important lesson in life:

"Please."

If they were noble, they'd take their shit-tacular website behind a barn and shoot it.

Never Forget

Five counts of animal abuse or neglect involving the alligator.

I'm really sick of these thugs and the constant attention they get on this website. Can we go a couple of weeks without mentioning the NCAA?

Chili with beans is not chili; it's red stew.

Mayweather: "Call me"

Roadhouse is the worst movie ever made, it's inspired a generation of idiots.

it's probably fake. I wouldn't trust anything that promotes Copenhagen.

dunno what pablum you're listening to, but Cowboys from Hell has a distinct history that echoes the less well-known metal bands of the 80s like Exhorder.

Bet they put a bounty on that third wife.

if you hate this plan, you hate America.

Actually, I wouldn't mind "Girls, Girls, Girls" so much if the beginning of the song wasn't an outright rip-off of the Sex Pistols' "Holidays in the Sun."

I beg to differ. My friend Jesús won't shut the fuck up about fútbol.