More like "Pus-eye Riot," amirite?

The Major Harris story needs some updating. As recently as last month, he was working as a server in a Tampa area Outback Steakhouse. When word of this reached the Buccaneers' new head coach, he was immediately offered a position as a "special offensive consultant" with the Bucs. "I'm not going to allow a guy like…

Sorry, but Marvin Gaye's Here, My Dear is still the best revenue record of all time.

Gold isn't a gold medal favorite for the ladies singles competition

Holy hell.

Why no "on your back" skeleton event?

At least Washington's being accurately represented by the logo of a company whose frontman is a clown.

It's not all bad news for Samuragochi, however. As a result of this scandal, he's signed a lucrative deal to be the new spokesman for Holiday Inn Express.

Sadly, this is the rabid following the promoters of Sochi 2014 promised the IOC in their bid.

This is a pretty reliable pirate feed...

Lynch swore the bottle came from a friend of his but Pete Carroll naturally questioned the true source of the Fireball.

"Legos? Meh. I'd rather play with my Erector set."

Athlete: "Excuse me, but what on earth are these frightening brown stains on my bed linens?"

That expression will forever be like nails on a chalkboard to me, thanks largely to the traumatizing weekend I spent driving my dad's 6'8" twin sisters from St. Louis to Miami when I was 19.

Well, sliders do have that effect.

Schroedinger's skat

And here I thought long-rumored/long-denied packages went out of fashion with Jamie Lee Curtis.

Jesus, people. Anyone who pays even the faintest attention to the Winter Olympics knows that the two man loo has been a sanctioned event for decades.

"Oh, we'll be making a killing alright."