.

You're right, Peter. I've never been to Cooperstown. And you know what? I've never had a stroke, either, but that hasn't affected my ability to tweet things like "krmtpcywsdrt." So as far as I'm concerned, we're equally qualified.

My favorite aunt, Julie . . .

Your state has ceased to exist effective July 31, 2012.

Officer struck him in the leg with his ASP but it had no effect.

When are guys who catch footballs for the Jets going to understand that you've got to keep it in your pants if you want to stay out of trouble?

Jesus, Cobra, how dense are you? "Getting into each others' pants" is a slang term. It means they're trying to cultivate a strong interest in a diverse variety of trousers. Some men in San Francisco are particular to rather flamboyant trousers, many of which are offered at fine local haberdashers such as Wilkes…

I see what you did there!

"Uh, yeah. Messy back"

Their catchers must be fearless.

"Now that's a cake!"

NBC was asked to discuss whether they influenced the decision and whether race may have played a part in that influence, however they declined comment, stating they were preoccupied with scouring the land for even one black, female sketch comic.

Dammit, there it is.

It's amusing to read the Greek news reports chronicling his NBA adventure, especially the part where they refer to his team as the "Milwaukee 250.6067514893 Drachmas."

I like this. And I cannot lie.

This is one of those moves Falcao Mikkel Hansen has probably practiced on the playground(?)

"Jewel encrusted workout room" is how Ty Murray refers to the back seat of his pickup.

Richardson's effort at biting satire is uneven at best, which I suppose should be expected from a Brit.

Browns receivers should know by now that weedin' is always going to make them look bad.

I'm pretty sure those two are with a group from Miami. Look at the Marlins fan seated right behind them.