Nobody fucks tomatoes, people. Nobody.

If that young lady is such a big Colby Rasmus fan, why does she have Ron Artest's cock tattooed across the upper half of her face?

Kid's Dad (to clearly exasperated mom): "So, how did MacLaren's first day on the job go?"

Sauces: Whitlock Says "Yes, Please"

Sucks for fuse

Uniform color is hardly the biggest problem affecting football on an electric field. Try kicking a field goal with that ridiculous "triple threat quarterback" thingy. And let's not even get started on the issue of those stupid steering wheel thingies on the player bases that don't work for shit.

"Stupid fucking biped."

Also regretting taking a ball to the face: Sheryl Crow.

The leisure dive is what Portia calls it when Ellen dresses for bed in a seafoam green polyester suit.

I'm guessing he might have got him

Redskins' Orakpo tired of saga

Pictured: Ovie modeling what's bound to be the topical Halloween costume of 2011 - Ron Artest's hand.

Fascinating. In a matter of 24 hours we've gone from a handful of jism to a misinformed "prism."

+5714

Ron Artest On Rubbing One Out

Utah: Good grief, the narrative is like the regurgitation of a purple thesaurus.

Meat's non-negotiable. Meat stays.

Kevin Love loves NAFTA.

blow to the Astros

guys like Mariano Rivera (cutter) and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (sky hook) as sportsmen who could do one thing really well