I seem to recall a similar promotion when I was growing up in Mississippi. I don't remember much aside from my parents receiving a lifetime supply of ivory bed linens when my brother was born on January 4, 1969.

a man hurtling toward his forties

A guy who's into hot blondes gets shot down in Dallas? That's gotta be a first.

Certainly gives new meaning to "Chile con carne."

Keys was taken into custody where he was held until the next morning. It was during this overnight detention that he took pencil to paper and wrote this stirring anthem:

Clemens has remained indignant

[Redacted: Grinding]

Interestingly, "Beavers Without Borders" is the subtitle of Larry Flynt Publications' powerpoint which projects sharply diminished sales for Q3 and Q4 2011.

And if you Google "Cosplay Coldplay" you get images of guys in ugly sweaters shoving Jell-o Pudding Pops up their asses.

Also very Feisty, every Canadian iPod, ever.

Soccer will never catch on in the United States so long as sissy names like Darlington are a part of its legend and lore.

Also wishing he could have missed out on Ray's game? Martin Luther King, Jr.

Also chalking the evening up to rust: the NTSB in its report regarding Aloha Airlines Flight 243.

Kicker Sportmagazin was a bit more pointed in their criticism of the German lady footballers, stating "we haven't seen a Prinz this leaden since January 29, 1977."

"Hey, did you hear they named a magazine after an object that has FDR's face on it?"

[Redacted. Brain's still in Bermuda]

Pryor should still be commended for quietly (if bewilderedly) sitting through the former coach's torrent of noises and "Sanzenbacher" pronunciations

Nice to see Fred Wilpon isn't the only one having trouble paying for fat-immersed meat on credit.

Looking at that bloated, husky frame and that wispy facial hair I really have to wonder what the fuck Steve Phillips was thinking when he decided to pursue that piece of crap. Also, why in the hell did he ever sign Bonilla?

Indeed. At least the Flyers are only wasting their money on one worthless Czech.