ICE credits the bust to their successful 3-step neighborhood watch promotion, "Stop, Collaborate and Listen."

...my sexual experiences were basically Nils.

"Chicago" - Check

Luckily for the camper, the initial embarrassment will ultimately evolve into the best party story known to young bros by the year 2022.

URL fossils should not be confused with Earl fossils, those charmingly doddering nabobs who oftentimes occupy the Duke and Duchess of Kent's box at Wimbledon.

But not Labrador. Never Labrador.

Unlike a Dyson, this does not suck.

Not Lorraine Bracco?

It's a frightening testament to mob psychology, and does make you wonder at the lack of visible Police.

Nike's always pissing someone off with their slogans. I'm sure they're still smarting from the vicious browbeating they suffered when the National Association of Virgins protested the "Just Do It" campaign.

Also earning the "still" label this week? Peter Falk.

Fuck, cleaning

I thought a Green Jersey Schmo was a dude who contracted listeria from an undercooked Fat Darrell.

It works out a little too perfectly to be a happy accident

"Ready for the Czech by the sixth draft? Fuckin' amateurs!"

A night in a Marriott might result in one isolated pants-shitting but a mere 5 minutes in a Hilton can cause a lifetime of painful penile discharge.

The Sky's defeat of the Sun also allowed Columbus to extort food from the Jamaicans.

+ ____

[Redacted]

Are you sure this didn't come from @RhymesWithHeisman on 11/18/85?