Heinrich Himmler: (On Telephone) "So, mein Fuhrer, did you take my suggestion to relieve your boredom? Ja? NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! MEIN GOTT! I said FLY a KITE!!!!!"

Guy named Carter leaves Pennsylvania to find his pro sports fortune in Ohio. Yeah, this will end well.

Also paying a steep price for stepping into a AAA situation? Ennis Cosby

I'll have no problem paying the remainder of the bond premium once I open my PaPal account, however I need to get raped by a priest first.

Dan Patrick: "How much pressure will there be to be the next LeBron James?"

+1 That's a Falken riot.

Most certainly drunker, but I'm not sure about cooler. Mines been below 98.6 degrees since 1977.

"I'm glad we all learned this wouldn't work out ahead of time."

"Fuckin' kids."

My vote is no on all fours.

Ironically, Crystal Harris went to Vegas in order to avoid becoming a trophy for a broken stick.

Nicole: Oh, O.J., you're such a cutup! You slay me!

So a guy who practically vanished during every critical moment of the Stanley Cup Final wins an award re-named for a guy who's nickname was "Terrible."

Seems to me it'd be a more apropos sobriquet for Clarence Thomas.

Well, this is a first for Deadspin. Ordinarily, when I google "Dong Bling Persecution" I get a bunch of links to Amnesty International.

+1

All of the commenters on the Canadian football message boards who are showering the coach with +1's will surely feel a bit rouge in the face when the coach's words of hubris come back to haunt him upon their squad's inevitable elimination.

It should go something like this: hype, Talking Heads, commercial break, hype, Talking Heads, commercial break

Also, we made a shart!

Brits Throw Fits Over Grunts Of . . . . "