He'll opt for the stale hotdogs purchased at a bankrupt day-care center's liquidation sale. Hence the slight tweak of the title to HARD KNACKS.

TYPO ALERT - You misspelled "ALF" in your third example.

Gibsonesque slam: Three pancakes, four slices of bacon, four sausage links and a whiskey-assisted screed from the Denny's waitress about how the Jews are driving up the price of hairspray.

Pictured Above Photographic evidence that in Soviet Union pussy goes inside fist.

"Fuck Porto. Nobody could beat a Braga like I could in my day."

Also rejecting five charges — Brittany Murphy's heart.

"That's no way to take down a Tosh."

Kahn and cancer are just two things that are never funny together, right Madeline?

No disrespect to you our your former office, Mr. Bush, but READ MY LIPS - NO NL TEXANS.

14-year-old Nick Gilbert charmed the nation as he represented the team on stage

+72

.

+1 Pure comedy Gold, man.

As he described it, knives were produced and a spot of carving took place. He barely escaped without getting slashed, and I'm not sure his fandom survived the experience.

"Fourteen Runs In One Outing" was the working title for Edmund Morris' tome about Malcolm Forbes' struggles with homosexuality and fecal incontinence.

...smash the ball into the Post...

Also unlikely to see another Ban - Marion Bartoli.

Pictured above: Brock Lesnar twenty minutes after defeating Adam Richman 5,078 to 5,066 in a saltine eating contest.

That remark made me Grimace.

"I'll always represent Larry Bird,'' he says. "He'll always be on me.''