He’s a Jehovah’s Witness.

So no sports teams. Got it.

Moonies?

Are you a cult?

It used to freak me out more than it does now. After a while you get used to the weird, nonsensical things they come up with. Usually it’s about dinosaurs or sea creatures (thanks, Octonauts!). It’s only occasionally terrifying.

They’re older now. This story happened a few years ago. Luckily our kids make a MAJOR racket as they move from their room to ours, so we always hear them coming a mile away in the mornings.

Haha, then it sounds like a great fit!

Thanks for the kind words. My work is such that my wife and I rarely take days off together. When I get a day off I usually line it up with one of her work days so we don’t have to use the babysitter as often, so usually I get a whole day home with just me and the kids once a week, then all the other days she works…

I believe spirits or ghosts exist, but I also believe that almost all encounters are something besides the paranormal. I’m a sort of skeptical believer, I guess. Anyway, glad it doesn’t bother you anymore!

You know what I am. I’ve told you. I keep telling you. And you’ve seen it.

In my experience Mormons have some next-level stuff going for them. What an awesome story. Thanks for sharing!

Dogs freak out about stuff we can’t hear or smell all the time. What freaks ME out is when my kids do it. They’ll stare off into space and then burst into either tears or laughter. They’ll say weird things about imaginary friends that maybe aren’t so imaginary. I heard one of my kids say “Momma, the shadow man…

That was funny. YouTube’s auto-cc feature couldn’t do much with her accent and that made it even funnier.

My wife and I were living in Dallas when something similar happened to us. Cop shows up at our door around 10pm and says “Is Mrs. GNU here?” I say “Yes. What’s this regarding?” He says they got a 911 call from her phone, but it immediately disconnected so protocol states they send out an officer to investigate. I tell…

Starred for the Kermit gif.

Talk to it again when you’re alone. Tell it you’re done, this is your home, your family, and ask it nicely to leave. Don’t bother your wife with it until you’ve tried talking to it.

The second sleepover experience sounds exactly like sleep paralysis. Vivid dreams characterized by terrifying imagery and inability to move, even a feeling like a weight is holding you down. I don’t know what that first experience was, though. That’s all just way too creepy.

I don’t know about the bruises or scratches or anything, but sometimes older light switches (anything over ten years or so) and especially those in bathrooms can have the switch mechanism worn out and steam or humidity can act as a lubricant to overcome what little resistance is left. Dollars to donuts a new switch…

I think we have a winner.