The metal detectors are also so no one smuggles in a trombone and plays the sad trombone sound when someone misses a word

Straight up for Kristaps Porzingis.

I like Shaq, but he’s the type of guy who loves dishing it out and can’t handle it in return. He’s worse at handling banter than he was at shooting free throws.

Somebody call Dennis Rodman.

I maintain, that in an era that predates HDTV’s, that wasn’t the worst idea of all time.

Interesting fan theory

It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

Just you

Randy Levine of the Yankees? What other sports franchise would threaten consequences for something as innocuous as this.

He just read a Billy Haisley post.

Actually, the first step in making haggis is barfing.

His friends could see that picture

Thank you for pulling the curtain back on this beauty

Background: Mike Milbury was probably one of the worst GM’s in sports history when he held that post for the Isles from the mid-90's through the mid-’00. That’s not hyperbole. Still, instead of getting fired, he got a promotion and became an executive of the Islanders. Thus were the Islanders under Wang.

I simply can’t understand what was said...any help?

“Checking in.”

not to be a truther or anything, but the nfl combine is far from meaningless. It is a legitimate way to quantify physical attributes. The reason we’re having this conversation about Mixon at all is because his pro day times were virtually an exact match for Ezekiel Elliott in every single category. Thus, the quandary…

He just wants to be somewhere where everyone takes a “more professional approach”

And the overwrought prose to match, interrupted briefly by a “because X” grating-Jezebel-commenter turn of phrase.