Literally everything I write on his website is for my own amusement.

LOOK AT THOSE EYELASHES THOUGH

First photo looks like she just realized she agreed to sleep with Donald Trump to save America.

We’re not pretending. Please do show us an example of Democrats refusing to participate in a Republican President’s SCOTUS nomination duties. Dear.

Come on, he’s from Cambridge. Lots of self-serious, humorless dickheads in Cambridge.

I seriously don't get it. He's from Massachusetts, everyone is a sarcastic asshole here. How does he not have any sort of sense of humor?

So you think that all people with HIV/AIDS got it because they didn’t take personal responsibility? Is it lonely on your pedestal?

Seriously, though. How easy will they let us immigrate. Because I’m making a list of places to go if the GOP, any of them, get control of the white house.

Poor Kong! :(

Why can’t men accept impotence as what it so very clearly is? God’s will for them.

Does a woman of 66 really need to clarify that “I definitely don’t want to have children anymore”?

I love Caity so much. She was the best thing about Gawker while she was there. She does the impossible and nearly, NEARLY, makes me hate Bieber less with that monkey bit. I continue to love her on Twitter. Oh and Richard Lawson too.

Honestly 100% behind Jaden. What he’s doing is genuinely brave and subversive, even if he looks dumb now.

You know I’m torn on this! As a woman and person of color it’s great for ME. I mean how nice will it be to just be handed a high paying writers gig without doing any work at all or having any talent, you know? I could call up a few late night shows and have a job tomorrow, no resume or writing samples required!

Interestingly, his top three issues are as valid as all the other GOP candidates. I demand that we allow Vermin Supreme on stage for the next GOP debate!

Will this never cease to be the truth??

“Yes sir, welcome to the Marine room. Our specials today are a salmon en croute with a brown butter buerre blanc, truffled potato puree and an assortment of seasonal locally sourced seasonal greens or an...old bucket full of various fish parts.”

This is what we get for going to see Jurassic World.

“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

I don’t really mind it so much... except she is clearly lying because cats don’t wear makeup or get piercings. I know this because every time I have tried to do a smoky eye on my cats, they scratch me.