Pre-exisiting condition so they can turn you away.

Having no health insurance is an underlying condition.

I’ve heard that if you just eat your bootstraps it‘ll clear right up. 

I never thought I would use that encyclopedia set again.

My version of this headline: “Here’s a fascinating mini-doc about the making of hit game Myst.”

Don’t Porsh your luck.

Former Green Beret Highly Skilled at Difficult Extractions

you cant count to 50... or you cant remember the title of your fuckin article and only put 25 things in , i hope they only pay you half your check this week , you lazy hack. also , your editor should be fired for not paying attention to your obvious mistake

I love when ads pretend to not be ads

Well, duh, you need to cut out ramen broth and branch water.

This story hits close to home for me. I only eat vodka, ramen broth, bootleg gin, branchwater, tomato wine, sour mash, and new moonshine. I too, have gone blind. Solidarity, brother.

This one???

Remember when he supported banning Muslims from working in the meat-packing industry and he said, “I don’t want people doing my pork that won’t eat it.”

On the Enterprise?

Can you hit a target that small?

That’s a lot of dick punching, my dude. Would they be, like, super fast speed bag punches, or full on haymaker ball destroyers?

Can I punch him in the dick 10,000 times before he is hung? It would be cathartic, and he deserves it.

Reminds me of FDR addressing Pearl Harbor survivors and talking about how these anniversaries sneak up on you, and that he hoped he wasn’t bombing.