All I want to know is where the command is to make your character say that their mom’s name is Martha when they go up against Batman, leading to victory as the latter inevitably becomes best friends with his opponent?

LMAOOOO yeah. I travel light, what can I say? I really do fit everything into my one personal item. Oh we going on a 10-day vacation? Get ready to see me in the same damn outfit every day.

So it would be acceptable for me to say “I don’t understand why black people rob convenience stores,” because, of course, I don’t mean ALL BLACK PEOPLE NO EXCEPTIONS. Right?

Says super racist thing followed immediately by racism accusations in a case that no one was claiming had anything to do with race.

Kids are shit. They throw tantrums and the “Dead Weight” maneuver is a powerful classic. I was dragged down many hallways many times between kindergarten and grade 2.

There are enough…

As a white person raised by white people I can promise you a lot of us treat our own kids like shit too.

I have a vicious 2-year old pit bull mix that greets people by licking them to death and jumping all over and jumping in circles and is ridiculously excited. We are trying to train her to stop by not giving her attention when we get home until she sits and stays calm, which is working for us. Unfortunately, every…

I know Tom responded with a perfectly reasonable response, but on behalf of all of Jalopnik’s readership, I wanted to extend our deepest sympathies that you had to read about the same car twice in a 12-month period.

like, this was my rent, which I just spent on this thing that’s not happening.

It cannot possibly be overemphasized, that Republicans in Congress are exempting themselves from the worst parts of their bill. There is a special place in Hell for this level of hypocritical selfishness right next to all of the self-enriching Christian evangelists.

I want to get inside Ellie from Brooklyn’s head. She’s got some hot existential takes - “the basis of our lives is our beliefs” and “People don’t live their lives on an ideological wavelength” - and decides, on September 12th, to call into Mike and the Mad Dog to share them.

Because child abuse is funny to you? Because it was so bad she got to adopt her brother?

You know, I thought this woman was crazy and wrong from the beginning. Then I heard the backstory, which the Stranger doesn’t even really dip into because it doesn’t fit the narrative that they want to drive with 15 sentences beginning with White Supremacy. Frankly, the Stranger staff is being a giant dick.

What purpose prison serves depends on who you ask, but the three big ones are:

I’ve been asking the same question, only in a different way.

I had it in my cart then deleted it. I’ll pick it up in a year when it has more than one game that interests me and I can just hop on Amazon and grab it with no fuss.

I had it in my cart then deleted it. I’ll pick it up in a year when it has more than one game that interests me and…

You could be getting old, or more likely you just realized like I did that there is pretty much no reason to buy the Nintendo Switch right now. In 6 months there will be more games, they’ll have dealt with a lot of their early hardware issues (docks scratching screens, faulty joycons, etc) and maybe we’ll see a price…

You could be getting old, or more likely you just realized like I did that there is pretty much no reason to buy the…

Wow I was finally here on time. But... you know when you want something so bad and then when it is finally available, you dont want it? Yeah that just happened. Maybe Im getting old.

Wow I was finally here on time. But... you know when you want something so bad and then when it is finally…

It's a piece of crap. Doesn't work for people with REAL facial hair. The hairs fly everywhere and it's takes really long because you have to constantly go over the same spots. Just use a real razor.

It's a piece of crap. Doesn't work for people with REAL facial hair. The hairs fly everywhere and it's takes really…

I spend every waking minute when I'm not in public with my pants unbuttoned. I do NOT have the discipline/obsession level for this.

I get that this is to make your car like the movie cars, but you can knock off the tints, the in car entertainment system, the nitrous oxide, carbon fiber seats, the lighting kit, the "aerodynamic body kit," and the custom paint. Save yourself over 20K and have a very respectable fast car that isn't just a show car…