Allow me to let you in on a little not-so-secret secret. The reason I’m a JHS teacher (as well as a writer) is because I’ve decided it is the best way for me to avoid growing up.

My daughter, about 8 here, helping me replace the brakes on my Fusion. Actual wrenching, not just posing. That’s my girl!

Have I got the car for you!...

I would drive one...in pink...with black BBS wheels.

As a Special Needs Coordinator working on 15 years in Special Needs, and someone who enjoys being in the presence of alcohol, I agree with this message. BTW, teachers are the most dysfunctional, inebriated, and mentally unhinged people on the planet. You actually have to check the box...”I am insane” on your…

“If teachers were honest with report card comments: Jimmy continues to be an (expletive). I would like him to stop being an (expletive).”

Apparently you’ve never browsed Just Rolled into The Shop.

If they managed to fuck up even with staged lug nuts, well... there you have it. I had to watch this show with my boss ALL-FUCKING-DAY in the office before. You soon graduate from face-palm to head-bang-on-wall very quickly to try to hammer the stupid things that comes out of their mouths.

“Then his brain-OS crashes and he stands frozen, arms dangling uselessly, while he reboots.”

A world where women like Sally Ride were celebrated in place of the Kardashians? That sounds like a world it might be worth living in.

I had my headphones on and volume at a normal level. Ouch.

My favorite is still the “Mini Cooper Money Shot” we had when a customer who couldn’t get his Mini to start so he kept adding oil. Eventually it was towed in when he could no longer crank it. It had over 15 quarts of oil, so much oil when we tried to manually turn the motor, it was locked by oil and could not make a…

So if you buy a Jetta, your life will be filled with drama, tension and no closure?

That my favorite too. What they don’t show you is the Christmas tree of lights on his dashboard by the time he gets to the church...... In reality though, he would probably have never made it as the fuel pump would have failed, ECU relay, coolant dumped on the road, clutch would have gone out, hole in the oil pan from…

That sounds ambitious by Chrysler standards.

Chrysler plans to completely phase out the carburetor out by 2018.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me put it to you this way: this weekend I went to record my 0-to-60 time. So I pressed “START” on my phone stopwatch, and I hammered the gas pedal, and the total time came to two minutes and 19 seconds, because that’s how long it took me to find my phone after it flew into the backseat…

“Sorry kids, no eating in the van. I don’t want you dropping any Goldfish into those velocity stacks. Now put in those earplugs, we’re late for school.”

She was instrumental in revealing that NASA knew about problems with the o-rings on Challenger, going as far as finding the documentation of such and making it public knowledge.