Think of it as thrift...as a gift...if you get my drift...

Glad he swims, because EVERYONE knows that penguins can’t fly (especially if they’ve been DRINKING)

When we’d go on vacation & have to share a hotel bed because my parents were cheap, my sister and I called it being “Jerry Springer Guests.”

I loved loved LOVED Greg Sestero’s THE DISASTER ARTIST. Not only does it give great insight into how the hell THE ROOM got made, but it’s insanely sweet, tender and almost protective of Tommy Wiseau despite the fact that he is a TOTAL LOON. If you ever listen to the audiobook, Sestero does a great Wiseau…

You are awesome! I didn’t actually see it until recently, but I FEEL it, on a deeply personal level, because Christie Masters’ real-life husband played Dutch Wagenbach on THE SHIELD and I have SUCH a crush on him....

ROMY & MICHELE. Great (homemade) clothes, cute dance moves, killer apartment AND they get to dance with Alan Cumming after telling off their high school bully. They defined #SquadGoals before that was even a thing.

I read all this and keep picturing that scene in Earth Girls Are Easy where Valerie is trying to set up a romantic evening for her cheating husband—she has Crisco for a “sensual massage” and dumps a bottle of perfume on a lightbulb, which, of course, explodes.

I once had a dream where I overheard the following conversation:

Zevon fucking rules & he and Glenn Frey are jammin’ in Heaven right now.

Same here. The last Oscars I watched was when Chicago was nominated because I fucking loved that movie. And while I think The Hateful Eight should have been nominated for everything (Best Actor: Walton Goggins. Best Supporting Actor: Walton Goggins. Best Costumes: Whatever Walton Goggins Was Wearing). Max Max was…

I have a friend who got PISSED that I didn’t give a shit about the Oscars this year. “This is important to meeeee!!!!” he said, as an actual, grown-ass man throwing a fit because another human being isn’t interested in a bunch of boring people getting awards.

I trust that this is part of your opening ceremonies:

Rita Moreno is THE BEST. Husband, friend and I drove an hour to hear her speak at a college (we’d just finished watching Oz) and she was funny, charming and an absolute delight (told a GREAT story about George W. mistaking her for Chita Rivera, and another about how her mother pronounced “beach” like “bitch” and…

Come on up! It’s part of our day-long Independence Day celebration. We start by making Fizzball jerseys (my husband made the stencil I posted above!) then we play Fizzball, then we have a potluck, then we watch ID4 (with short “Celebrity Bric-a-Brac: Independence Day”) with the Rifftrax, then fireworks. It’s pretty…

Diet Rite is THE BEST...for playing Fizzball, as we do every 4th of July. My friend Mike lives in a really shitty neighborhood, so he’s in charge of getting some for us. The ribbons of purple foam! The look on the batter’s face when they have to drink it! You really can’t ask for a better soda to shake up and hit with…

Tough tits for her if she’s angry at you for not being part of her Pinterest/Instagram/Special Princess Day Magic shenanigans. That’s great if everyone else can go, but if you can’t swing it, don’t go into serious debt for HER special day.

It’s not that great, honestly. They don’t use the cast recordings like in the movie (someone else sings “The Ground You Walk On,” what gives???) but there’s a good Hall & Oates track, plus decent versions of “’Cause I’m a Blonde” and “I Like ‘em Big & Stupid.”

THANK YOU for the EGAE love. I have that soundtrack on vinyl, and the dress I wore to my grad school was a replica of the pink fluffy one she wore at the end. PEAK Goldblum hotness right there.

I gave that speech at my friend’s wedding. He gave it at mine (six months ago today!!!) We watch this movie every 4th of July, in between Fizzball and fireworks.

My favorite dream ever was about Stephen Colbert! He was wearing a sweater vest and we were in love and it was Christmas. No sex, but it was so happy and magical that I think about it all the time.