I have this re-ocurring stress dream that I’m banging Dutch Wagenbach (from The Shield; this is not the stressful part, Dutch is cute as hell) and Vic Mackey gets pissed that I’m not banging him. In one dream, he came to the door and was trying to get me to let him in, trying to all seductive (gross gross gross), and…

I think we now have to write a “Carol”-esq novel about these two and their tragic-but-beautiful love story: The Price of Evaporated Milk.

I’m pretty sure those two dudes on the cover are dating each other. They probably picked up that DARLING apron for her while they were out antiquing one Sunday.

I drink evaporated milk in my coffee too! Cafe Bustello with raw sugar and Carnation. Yum.

OOOOH “Fuck You” playlists are my FAVORITE!

On one of the last days of our 2-week road-trip honeymoon, we went to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, someplace I’ve wanted to go my whole life. I got pretty choked up when I saw Walter Becker & Donald Fagen’s names on the wall and I just thought about how much I love Steely Dan.

Husband and I were at our Tuesday Taco joint when a big group of college girls came in...10 minutes before closing. They had a reservation for 10 for 8:30, and, like, I know it’s 8:50, but, like, two people were running late? So could we just, like sit? And wait for them and then we’ll order?

You’re so sweet! Feb. 2, 2016, The Big Rewind. Hope you like it!

A framed Down With Love poster hangs in my fancy, grown-ass living room. My husband and I danced to “Here’s to Love” at our wedding.

I can’t be the only person who tears up when Mac says “I am Mr. Right?” I get all gooey inside. He is at peak hotness in that movie.

I remember reading my mom’s Cosmo (I was probably 8) & being very confused by their list of “100 Things to Do Before You Die”. One of them was to “drink pina coladas on the beach on Christmas” but the only “beach” I knew was the lake, and since it was upstate NY, and it would be fucking freezing and snowy at the lake…

My husband was invited to visit his friend (we’ll call her Mrs. B) while I was out of town. He went over, went in the front door as he always did (she left it unlocked so he wouldn’t ring the bell and wake up the baby), and was taking his shoes off in the foyer when she threw open the kitchen door, shotgun leveled at…

Crow quotes are appropriate for all occasions!

What was everyone’s senior quote? Are you proud of it or mortified? Mine was “I calculated the odds of this succeeding vs. the odds that I was doing something incredibly stupid...and I went ahead anyways.” Crow T. Robot, MST3k: The Movie. Still makes me smile.

I’ll admit, I sobbed when my ex got engaged...but that was because him getting engaged was how he dumped me.

When I was in about 6th grade, my dad would play Warren Zevon’s “Sentimental Hygiene” every Sunday on our way across the county to our church. I love Zevon’s entire catalog (his music is referenced throughout my debut novel, “The Big Rewind”) but it’s for that reason that I have such a soft spot for that particular…

I want Jay Karnes (50) to climb in my window at night and read me bedtime stories. He has the sexiest voice and inflection (especially as Tyler Brennen on Burn Notice) and I love his pretty, wicked eyes and his narrow little nose, and when he smirks it looks like he's going to devour you whole.

Except that girl at the hospital on Guerrero Street. I have it on record that it's a good story!

He smiled and winked at me backstage at the Brooklyn launch. Good thing I wore my Sexy Red Dress!

YEAHSSSSSSS!!! That moment in Earth Girls Are Easy where he steps out of the tanning both and is all shirtless and pointy-earred and DREAMY....I spent the night friend Beth's after her engagement party and she woke me up by queing up that EXACT SCENE, which is the next best thing, I guess, to waking up next to Jeff…