Video: What happens to people who spend decades earning handsomely for shoveling empty calorie drivel into the fetid orifices of the American public. This is the discontent of achieving your childhood dream, only to discover and embody its meaninglessness. This is the displaced anger at your own apathy and…

If you’re walking around with a name that George Lucas rejected for a minor character in Attack Of The Clones, you should maybe keep yer taeks to yerself. 

As a Niners fan, I absolutely continued to watch Super Bowl 47, despite the Niners being down 28-6, because sometimes games change. And sure enough (even with the loss) that was one of the most exciting games.

True, but literally no one expected the Giants to actually play well, so it was hardly a surprise when Collins farted up the field. McVay and Goff have been annointed as the FUTURE OF FOOBAW so this is a lot more shocking.

Did someone say Chuck E Cheese

Chuck E Cheese? No sir. That is the look of a divorced dad who just realized he has to pick is kid up at the same high school as his date.

That’s the look of a divorced dad who just remembered he promised his kid they’d go to Chuck E Cheese on his next weekend.

“You are the biggest idiot on this thread.”

Rarely does one see a sentence that by its very posting immediately defeats its premise.

Was wondering if you’d wend your way to that punchline, not disappointed. You’ve managed to twist the panties of at least one commenter, though, and for that you have earned a star!

“There’s too much teeth in my blow job.”

We were warned gay marriage would lead to this.

“Tom knows Bill is the best coach in the league, but he’s had enough of him. If Tom could, I think he would divorce him.”