You really can't fault Montero for getting traded to the Mariners. I mean, as far as I can tell, he's off to a great start competing on the biggest loser.

Montero has requested that Mariners pitching staff deliver their sliders with extra mustard.

Fast Tempo's only endanger the people who drive them.

Canada better be careful against Sweden. The Swedes have much more incentive to win. King Carl Carlsbergsson himself has offered the players their weight in Herring and Anti-depressants if they return to Sweden with a Gold Medal.

team USA was going to leave a note but didn't quite know how to end it.

America is balding and near death and vainly clads its head with a beautiful symbol of youth.

As a Canadian, you should be concerned about not being an American.

"Oh do shut up, Selena" - Yolanda Saldivar

Football is a Canadian game that the Americans changed to make it a wuss sport. Four downs? Fair catch? Touchback? Postage stamp sized field?

When Ray Rice hits up one woman, it's a big controversy. But when two white guys hit up seven of them, the reaction is Bless these men? Thought we were post-racial. GUESS NOT.

Is it narrated by Bob Saget? Because that would be awful.

Police reported he was in a state of dystopia after leaving the Huxley nightclub, Rave New World.

Pictured:

Rob Ford Gets Air

It's been a while since Canada's lost, and if they win it's usually just responding to the millions of predictable "Fuck Canada"'s that come from American keyboards.

You can remove the rod, but you can't properly align the text? Fuck you.

Curtis Pride was also at the medal ceremony, but he was removed because he kept talking over the anthem.

That ref should lose her job for costing Canada the zone there.

Are you any relation to WWF legend Dusty Rhodes? And if not, are you sure?

Farther than chris kluwe