"I used to get the twins mixed up all the time. However, I quickly devised a fool-proof way of differentiating between the two. Josefin had an affinity for meatballs and Stefan Edberg.
And Elin beat the ever-loving shit out of me with a golf club."

Next your going to tell us not to eat soup with a spork. Where does it end?

It's not often you see a European Table Tennis Union comment tossed around. Kudos.

How much wood could Mike Shanahan chuck if Mike Shanahan could chuck wood?
Follow up question: Is Chevy Chase, Maryland as amusing as the actor himself?

Chief Wahoo? Or Dan Snyder?

-A smiling white man offering reassurance? Check.

Have you met Mark Rypien yet? Art Monk? What are they REALLY like?

-Tom Ley

It's an audible designed to lull opponents to sleep by invoking actual mental images of Omaha.

"Weighty Way of Wade, wades way through Dade, Glades. Absence of Shade fades Wade."
-Ruben Blades

Mike Timlin said "Dawn! Get me another Amstel Red for fucks sake!" 2,376 times this year. And it's only January 13th.

Some of us will revel in the comfort and sweet relief that is the end of football season.

"Anyone can hurl a grade schooler."
-Mike Milbury

How do you remove brain matter from a pillow case, 600 thread count sheeting, and a suede headboard? My wife would like to know. For some reason.

Last time I saw someone walking like that, he was leaving the shower.
-Mike McQueary

yes! That Sam Adams Cherry is to die for.

"The NFL, which is essentially Canadian football with some peculiar rules variations".
Fixed.

I was in Boston last summer, and stayed at the Holiday Inn Somerville.
The morning after a particularly monumental Sam Adams Cherry binge, I found myself upright at the breakfast table in the Hotel Bar. I ordered a Bloody Mary and proceeded to the Buffet line to fill my plate with soupy scrambled egg and bacon that…

While you were away, Lance Armstrong testicle jokes became outlawed.

I'd love to see his minimalist interpretation of the logo for Arkan's Tigers.