While you were studying "Virginia Code 18.2-422," I was studying the blade.

I got mugged a while back, described the dude as 6' 300 lb black guy, the CPD drove me a couple blocks over to some 5'7 150 lb black guy and asked me if it was him.

Yeah, "mistakenly".

If I'm buying a $15,000 dildo you better believe that's my alibi.

They are very, very earnest about it, that's clear.

I watched a Schumer special and an old Chappelle special with my mom last Christmas and she asked me to turn off the first because it was so vulgar but she loved the second (which was… equally vulgar). I pointed that out and she shrugged and was like,

Kirkman is the example par excellence of comedians whose brains were so broken by the election that they don't do comedy anymore on Twitter, they just never stop posting about Russia.

If the recent kid glove treatment of Bush and Megyn Kelly among liberals is any indication, Lahren is going to be embraced by milquetoast Democrats within the year.

Every single day of my life has been stupider than the day before it. Every single day that you see me, that's on the stupidest day of my life.

Your username is a misspelled cold cut.

Sesame Street's newest Muppet is Alex Jones

Paul Ryan does the Dennis Reynolds thing where he stares into the camera for 2 hours without moving.

"picked up a third job so I don't starve to death"

As someone who saw the Matrix back when it was released and maybe once or twice since on cable, I find it almost impossible to revisit now that the worst sectors of internet culture have totally cannibalized it (red pill/blue pill stuff, for instance).

"The advice itself is pretty basic—essentially, don’t flirt with people while you’re drinking, because it’ll never end well."

Yeah that's in line with my observations. But even then, when I sort by genre in the app I find way more than I do in the suggestions category.

You guessed it, 100% clean comedian Dan Nainan.

I think the bigger issue is why the "suggestions" page shows the same shit for months on end and barely skims the full library.

Last Week Tonight With John Oliver introduces the world to “Stephen Kohlbehrt”

Or Sebastian Gorka, PhD, 2nd Floor Asian Massage Parlor, Budapest