*Bewkes looks down at notepad with one bullet point, reading "MAKE MONEY," looks up in bewilderment*

They are much kinder to nerds.

*clears throat*

They grow up so quick.

Turns out that having "Brangelina" as both names on a marriage license is not legally binding at all!

Shit, it's just David Schwimmer.

“I’m not one of those ‘gotcha’ people,” Fallon says, clarifying that Trump knew about the hair-tousling bit in advance.

I thought US Cellular was bad, but now they're renaming it "Guaranteed Rate Field." Which, Christ.

Supper Club got weird fast.

Tripe's an animal product, so they can't put up with it at all!

I did my part to put Mrs. Murphy and Sons' pulled pork inventory through its paces before Morrissey came on stage.

My experience has been that the French don't look kindly on fat people.

He seems to be a dick in interviews a lot, with that older Rolling Stone piece taking the cake. Yeah the questions were silly, but him saying shit like "my workout routine is of little relevance" and repeatedly asserting that he's a 29 year old adult was so off-putting that I still remember it.

"For your sake we recommend you stand during the anthem."

"His wealth is massive and his body, the opposite. Got it? *cracks knuckles menacingly*"

Trump really said that gesticulating wildly on the stump is his primary exercise.

I'm the guy with the beard so I should be really easy to spot in Logan.

Food is a strong word.

Ashes to ashes, Cheetos dust to Cheetos dust

Yeah? Well,