She strikes me as a the-fish-gets-bigger-each-time-I-talk-about-it kind of person.

I want to be a collector of Merkurs and Edsels.

500 hours polishing pit toilets.

And the rest of us gossip about it.

I remember when these were just worthless curiosities. It wasn’t that long ago.

I might get a bunch of free Big Macs, but the real winner is my cardiologist. 

No one will ever survive the full fifty years.

The coupe is vaguely sporting.

Now I’m trying to think of the most inappropriate car to lift for a “dirt road” look.

Dioramas.

Because her shenanigans are cheeky and fun, but Farva's shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Translation: show your age in the comments.

If kanYe enjoys cosplaying in stained work clothes, I will happily sell him mine for a reasonable $600 per hoodie. $750 for carpenter jeans with the crotch worn through.

Pontiac aspired to be so much cooler than it actually was. 

The answer is space wizards.

If he wasn't dead already, casting him in bronze certainly finished him.

A decade from now I will here her name on the news, struggle to remember why it feels familiar and go back to forgetting her again.

Enjoy your alternative facts.

Elon Musk decided to buy Twitter. He did this on his own and unprompted. He made an offer. He signed a contract of his own free will.

Walter Cronkite was on his fifth glass of scotch during every nightly broadcast.