So many substitutions is a clear indication that it isn’t worth trying.

Proper cup holders.

I watched a YouTube video that spoiled the whole thing. I can now comfortably wait until it is streaming without complaining about friends and websites spoiling it for me.

There are pictures of Danny Elfman where he doesn't look like the ghost of Danny Elfman. 

Please put down the hatchet.

I wish someone bought Hitler's derivative paintings. 

Ruined.

YouTube has taught me that you now fill the car with dogshit, glitter and explosives and park it on the porch.

In sedativo veritas

Dramatic reenactment of event.

I feel like there is a miscommunication here.

You mean the “scary government?”

Not everything is meant to cross the Rubicon.

You should consider discussing your paranoia with a professional.

I would drive this everywhere.*

If it wasn’t on the wrong side of the state and breathlessly ugly I might consider it.

Vegans aren’t coming to Macdonalds. Ever.

When if comes to the fire department, seek out the man with the most silvery mustache.