Okay, can we just offer the widow a buy one - get one free membership to Trump National Doral. If that doesn’t make her happy nothing will - DT

The Environmental Protection Agency is seeking to repeal tighter emissions standards for trucks.

Oh come on - I personally gave out and entire case of Bounty paper towels, it is the super picker upper. Is it my fault that the roads all washed out, I sent a hospital ship, all the sick and dying have to do is get there. How hard can this be!

Creepy elbow eye is his mother’s eye. That makes it all the creepier.

Listening to Lost in a Dream right now. What a difference this record is. This is a great record, tight, cohesive, and more rock n roll.

Thanks, will give it a try tonight

Much like “stickybeak” I’ve been needing to be mellow. My recent plays reflect that mellowness (mostly).

Wow man, groovy. Exact same thing happened to me at a Dead show once. Right on!

Pester the shit out of your reps. Call multiple times a day and call at night and leave voice mails. Debbie Wasserman Schultz hates me, but fuck her, she is my rep.

Mrs. Phallus, after a couple of double bourbons, let’s me call her Megyn Kelly as we have relations. I in turn allow her to call me Sean Spicer.

With the world spiraling closer to nuclear armageddon with each tweet, this column is the sustaining force in my life. So, on with it.

I’m sorry, but who exactly is Lil B? On a simar note I was almost Lil Phallus but thought better of it eventually.

I’ve always wanted to be a dog sled racer, really, but it is soooo cold. Why can’t they accommodate me and let me race in Florida?

I’ve always wanted to be a dog sled racer, really, but it is so damn cold. I wish that they would accommodate me and warm it up a bit.

Me to my two year old son: Bodhi, please don’t put you willy into that outlet.

I’m sorry, who?

Damn I need to listen to some Social D. Love those guys!!!

I suppose I should be spinning the entire Tom Petty catalog but I just can’t. So without further blabbering here is this week’s playlist so far.

Who can choose just one? I suppose if I have to I would choose American Girl. I sang that song to my girlfriend right up until the time she left me for a guy with more money and cocaine. I can barely remember her now, TP I will never forget.

I am writing this with tear filled eyes so pardon any errors. Tom Petty and his various bands were a soundtrack to my life. At 52 years old he was there for my first kiss, first beer, first girlfriend and my wedding. A part my me has died with him.