Look at the shit show that is the Miami Dolphins quarterback situation. Why not sign him and in 3 weeks when Ryan falls apart again Colin can start.

Wait just one second Ms. Banks. Sy what you want about Mr. Musk, Ms. Grimes, Colonialism and even tripping, but you had better never disparage PBR again! That is a fine world class brew right there. 

My 3 year old son may one day become a rapper, therefore I have already given him the name "Lil' Phallus". Genius right!

True story, no really, it is. I worked as an adult film actor. Occasionally the director would call for a “plentiful” money shot. Also occasionally I would only be able to produce a “small change” money shot. Those very rare, very few times required a mixture of Cetaphil and water ejected from a turkey baster off…

Steele Phallus 20:18 “To those who would rip babies from their parents at the border, may God have mercy on your wretched soul.”

Or black

As a chef, a fan, and in recovery I don’t have adequate words to express the hole in my heart and in my kitchen. I will say this, fare thee well rockstar.

Dear America

As the father of a 3 year old, I resent my boy being compared to that ass clown.

The only possible upgrade for either one of them would be if they were dating Iggy Pop.

It begs for the baby to be named Kuandry.

Illegal immigration is at its lowest point since 1972. The majority of illegal drugs enter through our ports, not across the border. Let’s not let facts get in the way of a little xenophobic hatred.

Ironman triathlon. After a race I have pissed and farted my way access 140.6 miles. It’s the fluids, the incessant eating and the colonic distress. Ugh.

Two questions:

I read this with a heavy heart. Craigslist personals have contributed a significant number of sex partners to what I estimate conservatively to be around 1500. Of these, 1499 are inconsequential and only worth the memory for the fun time we had. Well, except for the Finklestein sisters, but I digress. The other one,…

I agree everything you wrote here. That being said, I love this movie and watch it all the time.

So much winning....

Great piece Michael, with one exception. Jews, be it Ashkenazi or otherwise, are not a race despite what the Supreme Court said back in the 80's. The idea of Jews as a race brings to mind nightmarish visions of Nazi Germany.

Wait, you mean it’s not this guy....

Kid Rock, “devil without a cause”.