My family has had, like, 3 cats that just could not figure out meowing. They would open their mouths, make a beeping noise, and look confused, every day of their lives. Is this a common thing? Are our cats just dumb?

But I don’t want to be king, father! I want to dance!

Are we just ignoring that those Golden Arches look just like a nice, warm, comforting set of...tracts of land?

That an elderly religious figurehead would have some backward views is not the least bit surprising to me. Frankly I would be surprised if he did not espouse such views.

It's a shame that he fumbled at the end of his career and tried to act like every other GOP presidential nominee. He sold his soul for a shot at the POTUS.

I’m trying to drink in the tone of this article. Should we think less of him for cutting ties with a long-time friends who did something that’s actually pretty shitty? Is that the gist of it?

rand paul is a shithead on a lot of things,

I think it’s worse than that: It’s the idiotic rantings of a person who has no debt because of scholarships and/or mommy and daddy paying and a lifestyle still underwritten by the Bank of Family Money.

I’ve been sexually assaulted twice, once in high school, once in college. Both times, absolutely nothing happened to my attackers—mostly because it seemed so much less traumatic for me to try to downplay what happened than it was for me to try to convince others something had.

Yes, Bristol, you’re absolutely right. The police who dragged a 14-year-old out of school in handcuffs for building a science project and subjected him to hours of racist interrogation without allowing him access to a lawyer or his parents are the real victims here. The police and white people everywhere. Can’t put…

I disagree, but that’s because my position is that natural flaws/imperfections are more attractive because they make a face interesting and memorable. So yeah, her big lips are better lips, but I think her face looks less Face and more Human Photoshop Hottie and I’m not into that.

The only people who worry about putting bumper stickers on Bentley’s are people who have to return them when the lease is up, Kimmy.

Weaves and wigs. It’s all weaves and wigs.

STOP USING THAT ADORABLE BABY TO PEDDLE YOUR CANDY CORN LIES

you are a fool, woman. candy corn is delicious carnauba wax goodness. i’ll concede that those candy corn spawn are abominations. why mess with candy corn perfection? (can’t stop saying candy corn. candyfuckingcrackcorn.) if, like me, you are from the 1960s and 70s, you enjoyed candy corn’s heyday. before razor blades…