hmmmmmmm

I want to know what he’d look like with his natural chest hair. With that beard, you know he’s got some. #TeamChestHair

This isn’t about you.

A lot of young children are very easily frightened, though. When I was little Scoobie Doo gave me nightmares, for gods sake. I’m sure there were kids who had no ill effects whatsoever, but I’m really baffled by the number of people in the comments insisting that this is no problem because kids just don’t get scared of…

Speaking from experience, do yourself a favor and do not watch this movie if you suffer from infertility. I thought someone was going to have to scrape me off the floor.

I couldn’t agree more. I’m not suing Walt Disney’s cryogenically (YES, I KNOW THIS ISN’T TRUE, BUT IT SOUNDS BETTER IN MY RANT THAN SUING HIS CREMATED REMAINS!) frozen head because because (SPOILER ALERT) Bambi’s mother got shot, and let me tell you that was a traumatic childhood experience. See also: Dumbo.

I fucking hate parents that are afraid to answer questions. If they won’t I will and they aren’t going to like the answers I give. For example:

That always make me cry.

Children asking questions are the worse thing ever! /s

But children are asking questions! She might have to be a parent now and start answering them!

Probably would’ve been the same amount of crying for both movies, tho.

If the “damage was already done” parents sue, I’m going to die of mental exhaustion. Please don’t be asses. Please don’t sue and make this world worse. Get your money back, a complementary ticket or two, and deal.

“You taste like a burger. I don’t like you anymore.”

Speed Holes!

Saying a woman or girl has “daddy issues” is fucking wretched. If she has daddy issues, shouldn’t the hate be directed at, you know, her god damned father? How is his disgusting and damaging fuckery her fault?

Instead of “probably wrong,” we’re going to straight to “unquestionably wrong.” The guy shouted about much he wanted to kill black people before he opened fire. He was a self-admitted racist. WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED.

Yes, I’m sure that when he said, “You’re raping our women and taking over our country,” he was mad about Christians. That’s definitely it.

CRUD!

Crud.