MO 2016.

"Kanye will breeze into a store and immediately start pulling looks for Kim to try on. He likes to pose her after he's picked out her outfits. He gets completely in the zone."

I cannot hear the name "Buckley" in anything except Brittany Murphy's voice, doing Luanne Platter.

buy some window cling fly traps. They work so much better and you don't have to actually do anything

I just have a lot of practice since I do my own nails all the time. Do what my mom does: get paint everywhere and then just pick it off in the shower the next day!

Fruit flies are not coming into your house because you have produce. The produce is coming into your house with fruit fly eggs on it, then they stay and multiply. That's why you can open a drawer in an office at the top of a skyscraper and find fruit flies all over the banana you forgot. Wash the stuff when you get…

And that's completely ignoring the stomach so flat even a bubble level would blush. Whoever their publicist and photoshop people are need a raise.

This was my thought too tbh

I have to say that one of the biggest changes in my lifetime, is the phenomenon of men wearing shorts. Men never wore shorts when I was young. There are few things I would rather see less, to tell you the truth. I'd just as soon see someone coming toward me with a hand grenade. This is one of the worst changes, by…

I had an abortion in my mid-twenties and I remember feeling euphoric when I woke up from anaesthesia. Then the cramps started and I spent the rest of the week holed up in my apartment being mildly annoyed with the whole world and eating a shitload of pudding. Then I was fine, and I've been fine ever since. The end.

It's awesome that the same people who declare:

Well, in my own experience, our choice was to terminate under controlled medical circumstances, or face an extremely risky pregnancy with an overwhelming chance of third trimester miscarriage. In the 1-in-a-million chance my wife was able to carry to term, our child would have had a life measured in hours, not…

Heard of this giant subfield of science called medicine and psychiatry?

Good googily moogily. "Use adoption" because "I like existing" is the trolliest way to enter this conversation.

I'm also adopted and don't give a crap if I would have been aborted. I wouldn't be alive, so I clearly wouldn't care.

The Chive is where basic dudebros who can't figure out Reddit go.

One time a guy I worked with saw some old pics of mine, when I exercised a lot and barely ate and dropped like close to 20 lbs from 140ish (I didn't have a scale, so I had no idea how much I'd lost... funny thing was, I still looked the same to myself the entire time) and he was like "wow, you were like, really hot…

This. I realized how pervasive it is when I was a wedding last September and the rest of the bridesmaids kept talking about how fat they looked and asking how I was so tiny. It took everything I had not to answer "my marriage is on its last leg and my husband screams at me so much that I can't eat." I hate looking…

Will there be 38 divorces in 38 countries?