It needs to go outside. I had a cat like that once. It would literally run up walls. Then my roommate and I moved to a place with a backyard and started letting him explore outside. (I know, I know. They kill birds.) His personality COMPLETELY changed. He would explore outside to his heart's content and then come…

Between this and Zach Galifinakis, it's been an interesting day.

The moment at which you start screaming and hurling swears at an employee is the moment at which you deserve absolutely no sympathy or understanding whatsoever.

I'm just going to share this story from last Saturday. A good money-making night- the restaurant is packed, we're trying to turn over tables. Of course half of them are fucking campers. So when another 8 top of 40 something year olds roll in, I'm begging my manager to give them to me. Bright eyed and with an imaginary…

"I really hate to be that guy and to stick up for coffee latte lady"

THIS IS PEAK MOM

I live in Boston and I got a text two hours ago. Pretty sure she think I'm going to die:

He goes on to explain that every time a "waitress" does something he doesn't like, he takes a dollar off the stack and puts it back in his wallet. According to him, this guarantees EXCELLENT "waitress" behavior.

The undercurrent of boyfriend douchbaggery here is not lost on me. Either I or one of my girl friends has dated all the assholes above. All the horror and embarrassment just came flooding back. LOL. I have to laugh but only because none of us ended up saddled with these guys. We eventually sobered up enough to…

He goes on to explain that every time a "waitress" does something he doesn't like, he takes a dollar off the stack and puts it back in his wallet. According to him, this guarantees EXCELLENT "waitress" behavior. He ends it with, "And it doesn't matter anyway, we live in [a state] where the restaurant has to pay them…

P.S. You really should take up eating meat again. Millions of people starve to death every day and would gladly trade places with you.

Oh god, I swear I had Coffee Latte's husband the other day. Never in my life have I felt the stupidity ratio in a room rise so rapidly as when this guy opened his mouth.

Really? I thought people called her out on it all the time...

My crush on John Oliver is intense and has spanned nearly a decade now.

My mother decided that nothing would be prettier than a semi permanent bright red rinse in my ginger hair. So she walked in and squirted it on me WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER.

I have dark black hair. Long dark black hair. But when I was a teenager I was not happy having long dark black hair. However It's hard to lighten black hair when you don't know what you are doing and silly me I thought you could bleach your hair with actual bleach. So I went to the cupboard and got the javex and…

THIS IS THE BEST NEWS!! so excited for this sideblog.

[hork]