I have a bucket of statistics from my personal observations. Statistic one, Saltines are 100% the best carbohydrate on the planet. I'm just speaking as a cracker lover. Stay tuned for more.

HE SELLS MONOGRAMMED COFFEE THERMOSES (PROBABLY).

Can we do a Lunchtime Poll on which movie you do next? Because it should be Forrest Gump.

I don't care what they say. I love you just the way you are.

That is one thing I've never understood. I watch porn myself, from time to time—and I'm not about to pretend I'm any better than the actors/actresses filming the thing for that very reason.

They could have just called this "The Week Before My Period."

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

Yes, people use words like "Asshat", Asshole", Fucking dickhead", "motherfucker", and "what the fuck is fucking wrong with you, you fucking fuck?" (These are mine.)

When I get drunk and say the wrong thing, it's always something I normally WOULD have said, if I lacked inhibitions. Like a TMI thing, or taking jokes too far, or being bitchy. I don't get racist when I'm drunk, being drunk doesn't change my opinions and ideals It just makes me more likely to say them out loud.

Does anyone ever say "a town run by Christians"? He's implying, and tapping into, an age-old anxiety of gentiles about any perceived control Jews have. Not only is it not very PC, he's being an apologist for anti-Semitism.

I'm assuming secret racists assume everyone else is a secret racist, too?

What some people sneeringly refer to as "being politically correct" is what others refer to as being respectful of others. Radical concept, I know.

I don't know about Mel. He got drunk and said a few things, but we've all said those things. We're all fucking hypocrites. That's what I think about it. The policeman who arrested him has never used the word nigger or that fucking Jew? I'm being brutally honest here. It's the hypocrisy of it that drives me crazy.

He got drunk and said a few things, but we've all said those things. We're all fucking hypocrites. That's what I think about it. The policeman who arrested him has never used the word nigger or that fucking Jew?

Yet another libertarian dickhead furious that people don't applaud bigotry. "So this interview has gone very badly. You have to edit and cut half of what I've said, because it's going to make me sound like a bigot" Yeah, Gary, there's an answer for that. Stop whining about bigots being oppressed.

Oldman Yells at Cloud.

The tracklist for Thicke's next album:

I have read the article, and I think it's far worse than Jezebel leads on. And, sorry (not sorry) but telling me that I have special privileges as a rape victim is not "contrary thought," it is untrue, sexist, and repulsive.

And, yes, I will continue to try and silence sexism. So fuck off.

i used to stan for gaga so hard, but ever since born this way i just have no desire to ever hear her name again. and now with this terrible shit? go back to paper gangsta, you peaked then.